data-mm-id=”_w81s3llq6″>The Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest will go on with no fans (but with Mike Golic Jr. and Jason Fitz on site) at the usual location in Coney Island. Like any other sporting event attempting to soldier on with the backdrop of a global pandemic looming, it will be a difficult endeavor. Contenders coming in from certain states will have to quarantine for 14 days. Getting down to Coney Island comes with the risk of infection. There are a lot of variables. However, I humbly suggest an alternative to Major League Eating that would eliminate many of those variables. I offer up my empty apartment in Astoria as the location for Joey Chestnut to continue his reign as the best professional eater in history. Space will be limited, as I did not win the lottery recently and am living in an apartment the size one might expect from a 24-year-old in New York City. But there are few downsides otherwise! Consider: it has been empty since May. There is no lingering bacteria to worry about. It is also a 15-minute walk from LaGuardia's Marina terminal, meaning competitors can simply stroll to the front door rather than risk an Uber or Lyft or an actual taxi. If MLE has the resources to move my furniture around, there's enough space for the standard Hot Dog Eating Contest table we've seen on TV all those years. I have a nice Kendrick Lamar tapestry to serve as backdrop. There are two bedrooms (one of which is a decent size), and a queen-sized air mattress for whoever draws that short straw. There are no windows in the living room, so sunlight won't be an issue for the broadcast team to deal with. All-unnatural, baby. I have a pretty good air conditioner, and my god is my ice machine kick-ass. Cool beverages for everyone! Now, there would be some conditions. First, I would like a signed Joey Chestnut hot dog for my willingness to give up my home. Doesn't seem like a big ask. Second, a clean-up crew would have to be included. I can't lose my security deposit because of hot dog water stains on the floor that will never go away, not to mention that the bathroom would definitely need a deep clean after the contest. Third, please do not touch my bookcases. I went through a big (read: not very big) effort to organize them by author and series. If my Eragon collection is out of place, I will notice. Honestly, I don't see a downside if those conditions are met for either party. I can say Joey Chestnut ate many hot dogs in the same spot I usually play video games and drink cheap beer. If all parties involved are comfortable, his competitors can fly in, walk to the apartment, compete, and leave in the same day, solving many a logistical issue. They can Support Local Businesses and order stellar cannolis from Martha's Country Bakery around the corner for dessert. It would show MLE is a real organization of the people if they held their biggest event at a humble residence of a humble fan.I can be reached via my direct line. I'll be waiting your call, MLE.
Related Posts
South Africa dominated Ethiopia during their World Cup qualifier but had to settle for a point in a 1-1 draw in Rustenburg.
Salahdin Said Ahmed opened the scoring for Ethiopia in the first half, before Katlego Mphela equalised in the second.
Bafana controlled the early stages, and they did not know what hit them when Said benefited from an error by Tsepo Masilela and worked his way into the area before firing home off the underside of the crossbar, giving Itumeleng Khune no chance in the 28th minute.
Things went from bad to worse for Bafana when Masilela was forced off the field in the 34th minute because of injury.
Ethiopia grew in confidence and almost grabbed a second on the stroke of half-time when Said was at it again, but this time he shot wide.
Erling Haaland is like a young Zlatan Ibrahimovic and is motivated by winning, not money, according to agent Mino Raiola.
Haaland has enjoyed a meteoric rise over the past 18 months, bursting onto the Champions League scene with Salzburg before becoming an instant hit at Borussia Dortmund.
The striker has managed 33 goals in all competitions since his switch to the German club in January 2020, his impressive scoring feats sparking speculation that his stay in Dortmund could be brief.
However, in an in-depth interview with Tuttosport, Raiola insisted the 20-year-old is happy in his current home, likening him to Edvard Munch s famous The Scream painting while revealing the true depth of the player s competitive edge.
He also referenced…
Erling Haaland is sought after across Europe and it seems Juventus have made the first move.
Haaland, 19, has already scored 28 goals in 21 games for Salzburg this season, including eight in the Champions League.
The Norway forward is attracting interest from the world s biggest clubs and Juventus are not prepared to wait around.
TOP STORY – JUVENTUS OFFER HAALAND €3M PER SEASON
Juventus have offered Haaland €3million per season, according to Corriere dello Sport.
Haaland has been linked to the likes of Manchester United, Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund among others.
Juve may be looking to add some youth to their attack, with Cristiano Ronaldo (34) and Gonzalo Higuain (31) in their 30s and Mario Mandzukic (33) out of f…
Burnley have agreed an improved deal with manager Sean Dyche ahead of the new Premier League season.
Dyche took over the Lancashire club in October 2012 and guided them to promotion in his first full season in charge as Burnley finished second in the Championship behind Leicester City.
And the 42-year-old has now been rewarded for his success with a new contract, although no indication has been given as to the length of the agreement.
In an open letter on the club s official website, co-chairmen John Banaszkiewicz and Mike Garlick said: We are very pleased to announce that we have agreed new and improved contracts with Sean Dyche and his staff and we thank them all for their hard work.
Former Watford boss Dyche will take change of his first Premier League game o…
France midfielder Yohan Cabaye has hailed coach Didier Deschamps as the driving force behind their excellent FIFA World Cup campaign so far.
Four years ago in South Africa, France exited the tournament at the group stage after registering just one goal and one point, while they only just snuck through UEFA qualifying for Brazil 2014 in a play-off against Ukraine.
In Brazil, however, France have looked lethal in attack and apart from the final 10 minutes of their match against Switzerland miserly in defence.
Cabaye, who started the games against Honduras and Switzerland, believes Deschamps deserves plenty of credit for the way France have performed.
He gave us his confidence. He managed to create a group of players who get along very well, on the pitch an…
Paris St Germain are anticipating further player-plus-cash offers for Kylian Mbappe from European clubs in the days ahead following a world-record £259million bid for the player from Saudi Arabian side Al Hilal.
PSG are understood to have given the 24-year-old permission to discuss personal terms with Al Hilal after they submitted their gigantic offer in writing following the news Mbappe had been omitted from a pre-season tour of Japan and South Korea.
However, sources close to the French club say further bids are also expected, but may take longer to formulate because they are likely to involve a player swap element.
Chelsea, Manchester United, Tottenham, Inter Milan and Barcelona have expressed an interest in Mbappe since his omission from the pre-season tour …
Carlo Ancelotti insisted Real Madrid deserved to defeat Barcelona as the Los Blancos coach questioned the late VAR decision to rule out Marco Asensio s goal in Sunday s 2-1 Clasico loss.
Substitute Asensio thought he had snatched a late winner at Camp Nou, turning home from Dani Carvajal s cross in the 81st minute before a lengthy VAR check adjudged the Spain international to be offside.
Franck Kessie coolly finished past Thibaut Courtois 11 minutes later as Barca grabbed a last-gasp victory to move 12 points clear at the summit of LaLiga.
Ancelotti was unconvinced by the decision to disallow the goal for Asensio, who was deemed to be in front of Jules Kounde, but lauded a resilient Madrid performance on Sunday.
The Italian said to Movistar: You have to a…
Inter have hit out at incorrect and misleading reports about the financial state of the club.
A report in Italian newspaper Il Sole 24 Ore said Inter should not be allowed to play in Serie A due to financial irregularities.
The report indicated Inter s consolidated net equity had fallen €29million to negative €83.4m in the period to June 2017.
Italian football does not abide by UEFA s Financial Fair Play regulations, but Il Sole 24 Ore said a chronic deficit in the balance sheet and income statement should block Inter s participation in Serie A.
Responding in a statement released on the club website on Thursday, Inter hit out at the newspaper for inaccurate reporting of the club s financial situation.
With reference to reports publishe…
Bayer Leverkusen striker Javier Hernandez says there is still a chance he will move clubs before the transfer window closes at the end of August.
The Mexico international, formerly of Manchester United and Real Madrid, enjoyed a brilliant first season in Germany, scoring 26 goals in all competitions throughout 2015-16.
But despite enjoying success with Leverkusen, Hernandez will not rule out making a move elsewhere with over three weeks of transfer speculation still to come.
You never know what happens in football, the 28-year-old told Kicker.
In years gone by I have left my club on the last day of the transfer window. I thought I would stay in Madrid and I thought I would stay in Manchester but I joined Leverkusen in the end.
It motivates me i…
Paul Lambert kick-starts his managerial tenure at Aston Villa with a trip to newly promoted West Ham on Saturday.
The former Norwich coach has been handed the task of guiding Villa up the table after the club endured a horrific campaign under Alex McLeish, which saw them avoid the drop by only two points.
The signings of Feyenoord pair Ron Vlaar and Karim El Ahmadi and Brett Holman from AZ Alkmaar will add a much needed boost to the squad.
And despite conceding six goals against Nottingham Forest and Werder Bremen in their final two games of pre-season, Lambert is pleased with the side s performance throughout the offseason.
It will be a tough game at West Ham, but I m looking forward to playing for real, he said.
I can t ask for any more from …